The broken road to bountiful

Bethany and Garrett Loveall's story reminds us of thankfulness amid the thorns

Bethany and Garrett with “Rev. Bob” after the wedding in November 2014.

As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible.
—Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

THEY WERE MARRIED 10 years ago this month on a ranch outside Sisters as Faith, Hope and Charity, the iconic trio of mountains more commonly known as The Three Sisters, watched like snow-clad bridesmaids. The high that day was 70 degrees, unheard of in Central Oregon for that late in the year; five days later, a storm would slam Sisters with two feet of snow.

It was one of those weddings so quietly grand that the thought of it still warms me like a winter fire.

Not because of the beautiful setting: a barn in the golden light of aspen trees. And not because of the role I was privileged to play: the officiant.

No, the memory lingers because it reminds me of the resiliency of the human spirit. The hope that emerges from hopelessness. And, on this Thanksgiving Day, the gratitude that’s possible amid the pain.

Some of you may remember remnants of the story, but allow me to share the rest. In May 2012, I wrote a Register-Guard column about a University of Oregon student, Bethany Schmidt. It was far from the usual boy-meets-girl story. Bethany’s story was:

Girl meets boy, Ryan Smith, a Sheldon High grad, at UO. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl graduate from the UO in 2009 and look forward to a lifetime together. Boy learns he has cancer and is told he has only months to live.

It was the New Millennial version of Erich Segal’s 1970 novel Love Story.

A graphic designer at The Duck Store, Bethany had once said she’d hoped to spend “a couple of years” planning her wedding. Instead, she planned it in three days; nobody knew how much time Ryan had left.

The two were married at a Bend restaurant on Dec. 11, 2011. Later, Bethany’s father, Stephen Schmidt, told me he’d never experienced anything like it: every drop of joy tainted with the reality that it could not last, every wide-eyed smile etched with mistiness, every embrace between Ryan and friends and family possibly the last.

He was so sick he couldn’t stay for the entire reception. He died six weeks later, Jan. 24, 2012.

Weeks later, Bethany stood before guests at the UO’s Ford Alumni Center and did something few 24-year-old women will ever have to do: eulogized her husband of the same age.

When, as a promise to Ryan, Bethany posted wedding photos on the Snippet & Ink wedding site, their story went viral. The post triggered more response than anything the site had experienced. Bethany wound up on NBC’s “Today” show being interviewed by UO alum Ann Curry.

Then, Bethany returned to her Eugene apartment and to Boots, the cat she had often sneaked into PeaceHealth Sacred Heart Medical Center at RiverBend to snuggle with Ryan.

How do you start a life over again?

It was a question that came up often as Bethany, my wife Sally and I talked nearly every Tuesday evening in the summer of 2012 on our back deck. After the wide and heartfelt response to my column, I had approached Bethany about writing a book on her and Ryan. She liked the idea.